To mark the onset of penance, the Church distributes ashes to Catholics, which are rubbed on the forehead with the timeless warning "Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return." This ceremony is so vivid that it has the power to draw people to church who almost never otherwise attend. (So Catholics like free samples--what's wrong with that? See you on Palm Sunday!).... It's also a handy way for single Catholics to spot each other and meet. For one day a year, that cute intern you've been eyeing in the elevator, the distinguished executive who doesn't have a wedding ring, the pink-faced Polish waitress or Irish construction worker, walks around all day with a sticker on his or her head that says "Marriage Material."... So if you're a single Catholic, take full advantage of the solemn fast we like to call "Mating Identification Day" by making a point of meeting those unhitched papists you've been ogling all year.
Maybe you can take a moment away from your fasting to bake some of their "Here's my number, I think you're kind of hot" Cross Buns. They say "they're a light way to break the ice with a total stranger to whom you're attracted, and about whom you know nothing more than that he will someday return to dust."
Now, go get your ashes and good luck on your Lenten fasting.
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